Why do some people hate boundaries? Part 1

A man with no possessions does not care who enters his home. He will leave his door unlocked when he is away. Not because he has faith in humanity but because he has nothing to lose. Yet the same man will lock the door while sleeping in his empty house. He still has no possessions, but he will protect his life, which is of value despite the place being empty.

A man who does not know he has anything valuable will walk around without a care. If someone told him the value of his possessions, he would be more aware of them and those around him. On the other hand, a man who has valuable possessions not only screens those who enter but watches them until they depart.

The difference is not because the poor man is more trusting of others or that the people with valuables have been traumatised or robbed before. You are more selective of what you allow in your life when you have something to lose. It is, therefore, strange that people view those who are particular about the company they keep as traumatised and those who seem to tolerate toxic interactions as more psychologically healthy. Boundaries are selectively permeable. You let in what you want and keep out what you don’t want. They are not walls or barriers.