Someone once asked, “Why should the wronged party always be the bigger person?”
Being the bigger person is called magnanimity—the ability not to escalate a situation you have not caused. In many cases, people may deliberately wrong you to cause you harm, make themselves seem superior, usually both. However, reacting to such people may cause harm to ourselves and others. Playing into the hands of fools results in no winners.
The wronged party is not being asked to surrender or show weakness when they are asked or ask themselves to be the bigger person. Instead, they are seen as the only party capable of better since the offender has already disqualified themselves. The latter is no longer a contender for progressive things. We can not ask big things of a well-proven small mind. However, being a victim does not exclude a person from being great.
We can only judge whether they are equally small-minded or greater when they act. If they fight back using the same tactics as the offender, they are similarly matched and destined to destroy themselves and others in senseless combat for ego’s sake. This fact does not mean the bigger person wants to lose. They are simply choosing their battles well. They will consider losing a fight or two to win the war. Intentionally saving their dignity, resources, peace of mind, time, efforts, and themselves for worthier pursuits.
Of course, this does not mean they should allow people to bully, disrespect or trample over them. Magnanimity requires ignoring pettiness in all its forms. It is a product of depth, insight, foresight and understanding of the greater good. Avoid people who enjoy chaos and drama if it is within your power. If you cannot physically stay away from them, then close your mind and heart to them. Imagine if they did not exist. What would you be doing and thinking of? Then proceed to do so, whether or not that person is around you.
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